It seems once that little bundle of joy starts stretching out your stomach, it becomes a beacon for unwanted advice.
Your mother-in-law is giving you steadfast tips on how to create another momma’s boy who can’t pick up his own socks.
Strangers are telling you about how you need to get on top of discipline the minute the baby comes out.
Here’s the only advice you should listen to:
don’t follow anyone else’s parenting style but develop your own.
If you want and need advice ask for it, but take it with a grain of salt. Take advice you don’t ask for, with a truck load of salt.
1. Let Them Cry or You’ll Spoil Them
Spoil them with what exactly? Human affection? Love?
They need to know that a person they spent the past nine months in, didn’t just abandon them in some cage (face it the crib is a cage and you know it)? If the baby’s crying find out what is causing it and try to soothe it.
You will be taking care of the baby’s basic needs, not buying him or her a pony, so there’s no spoiling.
2. Babies Cry For a Reason
Nope they do not.
If they do it’s no logical reason on the face of the earth. Anyone telling you that all you have to do to stop baby from crying is make sure it’s fed, changed and well-rested, never had a baby.
They had a Tamagotchi pet and think it’s the same thing.
Babies cry for no reason sometimes. The sooner you accept it the better.
3. Sleep When the Baby Sleeps
No. No and let’s just say no.
I can sleep when the baby sleeps and we can all just start eating off junk mail when the dishes in the sink reach the ceiling.
Then we’ll resort to cutting arm holes in the bed sheets and my husband will rock a toga to work because I napped instead of tossing in a load of laundry.
Sleep every OTHER time the baby sleeps is better advice because some chores really do need to get done.
4. Don’t Have Pets
The cat will suffocate your baby at night because they smell like milk. The dog will pick the baby up like a bone and bury it in the yard.
If you have a pet already don’t ever listen to someone telling you to get rid of it because you’re pregnant. That pet could be your saving grace for five seconds of amusement for the kid.
But beware – it’s usually not a great idea to buy a new pet after you’ve got newborn at home.
5. Don’t Do Time Out
Okay so hitting kids as discipline is bad, we all know that. But now “time out” is bad because it makes the kid feel bad, makes it feel singled out.
Pretty sure that’s the point.
While stepping out of line a tad you can still handle with a conversation, bad behavior needs stronger consequence.
6. Put Your Foot Down
Much sooner than you expect your baby will be an expert negotiator. It will be able to tell you – with a precision of a lawyer – 500 reasons why a pet lion is the best idea ever.
It is a good trait to have and foster, but if they always get shot down it’s a skill they won’t develop.
Listening to their arguments and acknowledging their points doesn’t mean always giving in, but a little compromise once in a while can go a long way.
7. Wake the Baby to Feed
Who thought of this as a thing?
If you have a newborn and if by some miracle it sleeps more than 4 hours, don’t touch it!
Seriously it’s just freaking tired from keeping you up the 18 hours prior. Remember all those news stories about babies who starved to death in their sleep? Yeah me neither. Don’t wake a sleeping baby, instead pour a glass a wine (I don’t care if it’s 10am!) and enjoy it.
8. Let Your Child Win
Stop cheating at games so you lose.
Yeah it’s fun and cute how excited they get when they win, you know what’s not fun? Dealing with a child that doesn’t know how to lose. I
t’s much easier to help a younger child understand how to be a good sport if they haven’t won every game they’ve ever played.
Let them know that they won’t always do everything perfect every time, all the time or sometimes even at all. They’ll learn to try harder and you won’t have a crying tantrum when they lose at chutes and ladders.
9. You Need to Start Potty Training
If your child wears diapers, you will hear this. You’ll hear it from relatives who have another relative that potty trained their kid in the womb. You’ll hear it from strangers who catch you changing a diaper in the bathroom.
You’ll hear it from that voice in your head who is sick of changing diapers.
But the real secret is, your kid won’t go to college in diapers, and they’ll let you know.
If you wait till your child is ready, you’ll get it done in days, if you try to force it… well, prepare to deal with accidents for months.
10. You’re Doing It Wrong
I don’t care what they are referring to, what the situation is, or who they are.
Everyone has their own parenting style.
Sadly it’s not until you’ve come out the other side of the teenager apocalypse that you find out if anything works.
Even if the person telling you this raised a genius and you’re putting your kid in the car seat upside down. The last thing anyone should do is tell a new mom they’re doing it wrong.
As a new mom you’ll be thinking that every step of the way and you don’t need someone else just confirming those thoughts.
We’re all doing the best we can.
OVER TO YOU – share some of the stuff you’ve heard when you were expecting / had a newborn / or even grown kids! Which one made you laugh and which made you angry? How did you respond?