You know these parents.
They have the newest gadgets and keep up with the trends. Their baby has to test the new toys first, and no matter how ridiculous the price or product is, they will be buying it.
Need a gift for these people?
Brilliant, because some companies have thought of them and came up with an ingenious way to make life easier and more enjoyable.
Which one is your favorite?
1. Baby Bangs
Do strangers confuse your little girl with a boy?
No need to worry.
If you’re not planning to slap a massive bow the size of the little head on your girl, then this company has the perfect solution for you!
Just slap a wig on your baby to make it look more like a human doll. Complete with a bang. Don’t see why the internet is not going crazy over these!
Before: Normal Baby
After: Baby with a Wig
2. Designer Vomit Bags
There’s nothing cute about vomit bags. And that’s how it should be.
But not everyone shares that opinion. Designed for the “chic expectant mother”, these bags bring in the “cool” into morning sickness.
3. Crib Dribbles
Feeding system for babies who prefer to be fed like animals in a cage. Mother has her hands free to update her Facebook status or stock up on the animal feed …. erm… baby food.
4. Bacon Flavored Formula
4 Nutrition servings of bacon in every scoop. Obesity here we come!
5. Baby Butt Fan
Make sure the crown jewels stay nice dry & rash free with this revolutionary invention. You just need a spare hand to hold it while you’re changing the baby. Can’t wait to see the looks when I test it in the baby changing rooms.
6. Baby String Bikini
Available in sizes from birth (WFT???), they’re not big enough to even fit a diaper, but that’s the least of your worries. As long as it looks good on Instagram. Let’s worry about the mess and sexualizing of babies later, no big deal.
7. Cry Analyzer
Kind of like the Ninja of Baby Monitors. Speaks the language of babies and tells you what exactly they need. Next year the range will be joined by Poop Analyzer, which will tell you what exactly did you baby eat and how much nutrients it got.
9. Bite Counter
Don’t put your kid’s health in danger by not monitoring their bite counts.
10. Parent and Child Leash
Humiliating your kid and walking it like a dog attached to a leash is old news. Now the latest trend is matching parent and child leash because nothing says Parent in Control of Child more than a kid on a leash.
Let’s not stop here and mention other gloriously practical gifts any new parent needs:
- Infant shoes with heels – because nothing serves more purpose than a baby that can’t walk wearing heels. By Heelarious (we very much doubt so!)
- Barefoot baby sandals – what’s the point of these? They look cute but serve absolutely no purpose
- Ipotty – potty with an Ipad holder. Because potty training can get really annoying
- Travel Urinal – shaped like a long bottle with a duck on top. Handy size to carry around with million other things you already have in your diaper bag
- Baby perfume – because even infants need a perfume for every mood and occasion
- Poop Alarm – detects your baby’s pee and pooh so that you don’t have to
- Breastfeeding bra for men – just attach the bottle
Have we left out anything? Have you received any of these or know parents who use any of these products? Leave a comment below!