Comebacks To Annoying Questions From In-Laws

You love having your mother in law over, but the afternoon coffee can quickly turn into a minefield.

Here are some tips how to navigate through it without causing any bodily harm.

1. When Are You Giving us Grandkids?

Even if they ask it as a joke, you are still expected to give an answer.

  • When are you giving us $250,000 to raise them?
  • We’ve decided to have ten cats instead.
  • As soon as we can get naked and start screwing, is now a good time?
  • We’re not going to. We told each other if you asked one more time we just were going to swear off having kids.

2. Are You Going to Keep Trying for a Boy?

Quite rude and sexist question. No one should be allowed to ask this. What’s wrong with having just girls?

  • Oh? Were we supposed to be trying for a boy? All this time we were just having great sex. Our bad
  • No, we’re trying for an all-girls baseball team
  • Oh we decided to trade one of the girls in for a boy, much easier that way
  • Well after seeing the boy you raised, we decided we don’t want one.

3. Did You Get a Job Yet?

While it is normal for parents to be worried about your financial state, especially if neither you or the significant other has a job, but it’s a question that’s an insult.

  • Nah just enjoying that welfare money. It’s much better than a real job.
  • Yeah, I beg for change outside the grocery store.
  • Nope, we’re planning on charging everything until you die and leave us your money.
  • You mean I have to pay for the stuff I put on credit cards?

4. Didn’t You Teach Those Kids to Behave Better?

Even the most well-behaved kids have their off days and using a bad moment to criticize your parenting skills is just uncalled for.

  • Yeah I did, the funny thing is they have minds of their own. I’ll work on that.
  • You know I followed your advice and look what happened!
  • Oh we’re letting the wolves in our backyard raise them, it’s much easier.
  • No actually, this is much better than how I taught them to behave. I don’t know where they’re getting this nice behavior from.

5. Can I Offer Some Advice?

  • Since your last advice was telling me I was raising the kids wrong, I’m going with no.
  • I’d rather you just shut up.
  • Sure, let me just get out a pad and paper so I make sure I don’t miss a thing.
  • Yeah but I’ll probably just do the opposite.

If your in-laws spend most of your visit telling you all the things you are doing wrong raising their grandkids, then you probably don’t want to hear any of their advice. If they try and pretend like they are polite by asking before they offer their overbearing opinion, feel free to tell them what to do with that advice.

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