Comebacks to Unwanted Parenting Advice

As soon as you’re pregnant or start bringing your adorable children around others, you will notice that people feel compelled to give you their parenting advice on how to take care of them.

Most of it will be unwanted. Just offered without regard to how you plan to raise your children. If you find yourself the victim of some “well-meaning” advice then just have one of these comebacks at the ready.

  • That’s great advice. What’s your number? I’ll make sure to call whenever I have a problem in the future.
  • Yeah that’s a good idea how to discipline them. I’ll let the wolves that raise them know, I’m actually just here for show.
  • Picking them up every time they cry spoils them? No wonder parenting has been so hard, here I thought I had to keep feeding and changing them.
  • Oh I know juice is bad for their teeth but I’m really hoping it’ll help wash off the two handfuls of sticky taffy they have in their mouths.
  • I’ll be sure to bring that up at the next bi-weekly parenting meeting to see if we can somehow fit that into the plan.
  • That’s really good advice and I’d certainly follow it but I’m just renting these kids to see if I like it. I have to have them back to the store by 8.
  • No I hadn’t thought to tell them to stop. I thought everyone else would enjoy hearing them scream as much as I do.
  • You’re right, they aren’t dressed right for the weather but just be glad they have clothes on at all. My son is in a flashing phase right now.
  • I’m sure you did so much better with your kids…in fact here just take mine. What’s your address? I’ll stop by later with the rest of their things.
  • No actually that’s a boy and that’s a girl. I think I’ll take your advice about how to raise them when you can tell me their correct gender.
  • Actually, I’ve met your children and based on how they turned out, I really don’t think I want to follow your parenting plan.
  • Oh she’s shouldn’t have a pacifier anymore? Well be my guest and take it out and see what happens, better yet put her right by your ear when you do.
  • No I never thought about potty training him yet. I just figured that’s what adult diapers were for.
  • Yeah they’re loud, but it’s much easier to keep track of them this way. People looked at the cow bells funny.
  • Hold on, let me get a pen and paper I really want to take notes. Please sit I want to hear everything you have to say. You don’t have plans right?
  • That would be $50. Until you start paying their living expenses you don’t get a say in how I raise them.
  • I am so scatter brained I completely forgot I asked for your opinion. Please do continue, then I can give you my opinion on your personality.

Do you know or have used some jolly good comebacks? please do share in comments!

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