Partner and Baby – How to get a balance

When our baby arrived, my relationship with my partner went from – too tired to care – to why aren’t we doing anything together?

My baby refused to nap in his crib and took months to sleep through the night. Sharing one bedroom with a needy newborn means, you are both tired all the time.

There were a few moments when we weren’t completely exhausted but found it hard to be just us again.

The good news was that we learned to work around the fact that we had a baby with us.

We also never parted from each other or went to bed without saying “I love you.” The little reminder continues to go a long way, even now when we have more kids.

partner vs baby

We Went Out

I think one of the things that kept us apart, at first, was the idea that we couldn’t take the baby anywhere. But then we tried it once, we went out to our favorite restaurant and kept the baby in his carrier. He was perfect, he slept most of the time and only woke up for food once in awhile.

The few months he fit in the carrier remain the easiest it has ever been to take him to a restaurant.

Being able to go out, not worry about cooking and just talk was great. Plus he was right there with us and getting the sleep he rarely got at home. At one point we even went to a Cinco de Mayo event at our favorite restaurant.

We sat on the patio, listened to live music, had a beer, and he slept. It was a great evening.

We Took Walks

Babies tend to love walks, and we loved walking him. Our baby was also born little jaundice, so walking him in the sun was prescribed. But we found that it gave us a great opportunity to get fresh air, talk about things and get an energy easy boost for the rest of the day.

It was also a way to spend time together that didn’t always require us to talk, so we could just enjoy being together.

We Took Turns

My husband rarely felt jealous of how little attention he was getting because he was often busy with the baby himself.

One of the things that helped was taking turns watching the baby on our own. I would watch the baby during the day all the time on my own since I stayed at home. However on the weekends or even in the evenings I would let my husband take care of the baby for awhile.

It would allow me to work on things around the house for awhile, get dinner cooked or just have a moment to myself.

I also allowed him time to himself on the weekend so that we both had our time. But the key was that we both understood how exhausting and time consuming it was having our son around.

He was very demanding, but it was just a phase that got better.

My husband rarely felt jealous of how little attention he was getting because he was often busy with the baby himself, knew how busy it was to take care of the baby, or we were both exhausted.

We Used the Grandparents

This one was hard for me, and it wasn’t until he was weaned and sleeping through the night before I agreed to a babysitter. But it was great to do it and have an evening completely to ourselves.

Even just one night every few months will do wonders for a relationship.


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