We’ve all been there.
You poor child is a victim of some power-tripping brat on the playground. You want to fight back and you want that little jerk to learn their lesson.
How do you go about it without making yourself look like a nasty 5 year old?
I’ve compiled 9 options for you, some more serious and some rather light hearted! Get your guns ready and let the playground war begin!
1. I’m Telling Your Mom
Yeah okay. So it was something that would get you labeled at a tattletale when you were ten, but now it’s pretty much one of your best options.
Most parents would like to know if their kid is waging sand warfare against a toddler. That way you leave the discipline to them and they won’t get mad because some stranger is teaching their kid a lesson.
2. Hot Sauce Lollipops
Remember when I said some of these were not something you should do? Yeah this is one of them.
But you know if the bully at the playground is an adult or you know someone you really, really hate…okay still no.
You can buy habanero lollipops that will melt the face off anyone who eats them. And if nothing else it would definitely get the kid to rethink taking candy from strangers for awhile. You are doing him a favour in the end.
3. Put ‘em Up
Another not so wonderful way of dealing with the playground bully is to teach your kid to defend themselves.
You know in ways that can’t be traced back to them.
There is an upside in that most karate classes will teach kids how to defend themselves just by having a strong stance. It can go a long way toward stopping a bully when they can no longer push a kid down because of their strong stance.
4. Buy Out the Ice Cream Truck
This one is passive aggressive and may hurt your wallet.
But one way of showing a bully what their behavior gets them is to buy ice cream for every other kid at the park.
Have a fun little ice cream party with all the kids that can behave at the playground. A few loud references about good behavior and treating everyone nicely would do wonders here, especially when the parents of that bully notice.
5. Discipline the Kid
This one might step on the toes of the parent and could get you into a drama filled confrontation if you do it with the wrong kid.
But there’s nothing wrong about telling off a kid for hitting your child. However, throwing the kid over your knee is probably a step too far.
So it’s best to stick with a few clear notes on the child’s behavior and hope the parent of the child takes care of the rest.
6. Call Out the Parent
If the parent is nearby you can state loudly that you don’t let your kids behave that way, or that you’ve taught your kids how to play nicely.
If you say it loud enough you might just embarrass the parent enough to realize their child is poisoning the playground with their bullying.
However, this can be hit or miss because some parents will just not care or pay enough attention to know you are talking about them.
7. Spread the Word
If you notice a child that is being outright mean to other children and your own, then one way of dealing with the pint sized brat is to tell the parents of other kids.
Let them know that they should steer clear of the mean child and instead play together. It’s much harder to bully a large group of children especially when they are having fun. If the bullying get physical then that child and their parent will have a large group of angry parents to deal with.
8. Ignore Them
There is nothing a bully hates more than being ignored. The more your child and any other child on the playground refuses to respond in any way to the bully, the angrier the he or she will be.
Teaching your child that words from a bully are really more the bully talking about themselves is a great way to help them develop self-confidence. Plus watching that little jerk get frustrated and angry over being unable to bully someone is quite satisfying to watch.
9. Tell the Authorities
Now you shouldn’t go calling 911 because some kid at the playground called your kid a poopy pants.
But if the altercation turns violent then you can consider involving someone else. If it is a school playground let the teachers and principle know.
If it is a public playground and you notice a guard or officer nearby let them know what is going on. If another child is injuring your child to the point they have scratches or bruises then getting a teacher or officer involved can help.
Again though calling 911 for injuries that are not serious is not the best idea though.
Playground bullies are infuriating especially if they make your child cry.
The important thing is to not let that itty bitty tyrant get the best of you or your child.