Every parent feels inadequate; that is just a fact.
Your parents might have acted like they didn’t think so and Ms. Perfect Mom with the Perfect Kids from down the block might not seem like she doesn’t know if she’s parenting right but, they all have insecurities.
Maybe they aren’t the same ones that I have or you have, but insecurities are insecurities.
If everyone thinks they aren’t doing it right, then how do we even begin to try to determine if we are parenting correctly.
We look to see if we can get a bit of advice from the “experts” and see if it is something we already knew. That is for sure a great way to figure out if you know what you’re doing.
And if you don’t, well it is a good evolve in your role as a mother or father.
So, what is the best parenting advice out there?
Be a Parent, not just a Friend
The first bit of advice comes from Lori Freson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She states,
“Be a parent, not a friend. This means you cannot be afraid to be the bad guy. Your child might be angry with you sometimes. Deal with it. The alternative is having an obnoxious kid.”
I’m sure you already knew that I mean if we were always the friend instead of the mom or dad, we’d be letting our little angels eat ice cream for breakfast and watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates all through the night.
Unfortunately, and I do mean, unfortunately, we have to be strict with our kids.
We can’t raise narcissistic jerks that think that everything is going to go their way in life. For one, because life just isn’t going to be like that for them. But, mainly because we don’t want to anyone to think “what terrible parents must have created this monster.”
You don’t Need a Doctor all the Time
“If your child is well enough to school or practice, he’s not sick enough to see me,” this bit of advice from an unnamed pediatrician is crucial.
Yes, we’re all afraid that our kids are one step away from that scary disease that you saw on TV last night. But they aren’t. Well, at least, they most likely aren’t. And they especially aren’t if they will be well enough to go to school the next day.
Though there are times, and it’s happened to me as well, that the school just wants to hound you for a doctor’s note.
Maybe little Bobby was crying for no reason at school, or had a few too many mosquito bites, and they looked like a rash.
If you’ve been a mom for enough time you know when it is serious, when they just need to stay home, and when they need a doctor. But sometimes the school just wants to hedge their bets and force you to pay another co-pay to get a note saying it was exactly what you said it was the first time.
From an anonymous daycare, professional quit negotiating! If it’s cold outside, don’t discuss it with your toddler. Put his jacket on,” is the one bit of advice she wished every parent would follow. Sure, negotiation might work well for getting deals on vacations using the Internet, negotiation isn’t for children.
Sure, you can have a conversation with them sometimes about choices but when it’s something that is serious, you just have to put your foot down.
You wouldn’t negotiate with your daughter about if she can play with fire, so don’t try to negotiate with them on other rules.
No Name Calling or Hitting
Do not name call or hit: “Kids learn from you, being abusive or hitting just teaches them to handle conflict with aggression and meanness”, Dr. Gail Saltz.
Maybe your parents gave you a spanking as a child, and you don’t seem any worse for the wear, but it just isn’t good form.
You need to learn how to deal with bad behavior with something other than more bad behavior. And yes, it is a bad behavior to call your child names and hit them. Using the term spanking might make it seem like it’s just good old-fashioned discipline. Here’s a news flash, it’s called hitting and if you wouldn’t want someone to hit you, don’t do it to your children.
Get Your Potty Training On
“When she says “I’m a big girl” or “I don’t want to wear diapers anymore,” stop what you’re doing and head right to the store to let them pick out new underwear. If you wait, the moment will have passed,” Kim Graham-Nye the co-founder of gDiapers.
Opportunity is key to making sure that your child I potty trained at the right time.
This is why you need to take whatever opportunity you have and make it work for you. I know that when I potty trained my child, it took forever, mainly because I waited not until he was ready but until I was ready to teach him, which led to a lot of mixed messages.
Obviously, there’s no right answer in how to raise your kids. But listening to some advice is always essential to making sure that you are on the right path. I know that I didn’t think I was a good parent until someone started asking me for advice.
At first, I was like, “Me, give advice, but I’m the world’s worst parent,” but that isn’t true. My kids are healthy, well-adjusted, and happy.
I keep them safe and keep them educated and living the life that they’d like to live. What did I do? I trusted my gut and asked other people who I thought raised well, what advice they’d like to give me.
And I think that’s the best advice out there, always trust your gut and make sure that you keep your roles in check, be strict when you need to be and friendly when they need someone to talk to.