It is a privilege to have the chance to watch parents grow older, but it can also be challenging. Things change as we age, and while you may long have been of the view that your parents are superheroes, the fact is that they’ll eventually begin to wind down and face new difficulties for the first time in their lives.
Just as all parents want their children to be happy, so too do all children want their parents to be happy. Yet, while that’s very much an achievable aspiration, it will likely require some work. After all, elderly life can bring circumstances that can impact quality of life if they’re not managed correctly.
That we’re familiar with the challenges of elderly life is a blessing in disguise, since it means you can proactively manage issues before they become major problems. Below, we’ll outline some key actions that should help boost quality of life and reduce stress for all involved.
Set Get-Together Times
Loneliness can be a major problem in the older community. Modern living arrangements — in which everyone needs a car to get anywhere — can make it difficult for older people to easily meet up with others. Combine this with reduced mobility, and it becomes much more likely that an older person will fail to get as much face-to-face time with other people as they need to.
Adult children also have busy lives, which means that getting together can often be tricky. The key to making sure that you spend time together is to make it a routine, rather than waiting for the right amount. Simply pick a few days/times per week and put them in your calendar. This not only makes your life easier, but it’s also better for your aging parent(s), who usually like to stick to a routine.
Suggest an Exercise
A recent study found that some 85% of adults aged 65 and older are inactive, and that figure increases once you focus on adults in their eighties. While it is more difficult for older people to exercise than younger adults, research continually reinforces the idea that it’s one of the best ways to bolster quality of life as you age. Even small amounts of exercise, such as going for a brisk walk, can have a noticeable impact on mood and energy levels.
But as the study shows, many older people shy away from exercise. As a caregiver, you can gently encourage your parents to engage in exercise. Even a little bit of encouragement, or even doing it with them, can make all the difference.
Talk Openly About Money
Many older people struggle with their finances, in large part because most people underestimate how much money they’ll need in retirement.
Some adult children are reluctant to bring up their parents’ financial situation because they think that it’s an embarrassing or personal subject. However, ignoring money troubles doesn’t make them go away. If anything, it makes things worse, since an older adult experiencing financial difficulties may make unwise decisions (such as selling their home or taking out a high-interest loan).
Talking to your parents about their financial situation can give you an honest overview of what they’re going through, as well as give you all the information you need to come up with potential solutions.
Recruit Help
Most older people need help at some point or another. The problem is that, even if you want to provide that help, you’re probably not in a position to provide as much support as you’d like to, especially if you have a family of your own. Many people’s schedules are already at full capacity because they have to take care of family, work, and household responsibilities. As such, the amount of time that they can dedicate to their parents is limited.
When this happens, many adult children begin exploring the possibility of moving their parents to an aged community, where they can receive round-the-clock care. The problem? Many older people don’t want this; they want the care part, but they don’t want to move to a new place. They’d prefer to stay in the home they know and love. For this, 24-hour care services offer a viable solution. That ensures that your parents get to stay at home and receive the care they need; at the same time, you get to know that your own efforts are being complemented by expert, trained professionals. That might sound like a small detail, but it can offer tremendous levels of peace of mind that your loved one(s) are in safe hands.
Work With Your Siblings
Adult children often think that it’s what they do/don’t do with their parents that will impact the situation the most. In reality, it’s often how they work with their brothers/sisters in managing the situation that has the biggest impact. You might be putting in a lot of effort, but if you have a sibling who’s not pulling their weight or has a different view of how to manage the situation, then there could be issues.
It’s recommended to speak to your siblings proactively, rather than reactively (that is, before problems arise rather than waiting until they’re fully formed). This will give you a chance to have open, honest conversations about the direction you should take. Even if you don’t all fully agree, it’s much better to know where the disagreements lie early on.
Create New Memories
Part of the challenge of getting older is believing that not only are the best days in the past, but that all the good days are in the past, too. Many older people can feel overly managed by their adult children, with too much emphasis placed on keeping them safe/avoiding problems. In reality, older people want what we all want: to have fun and create happy memories.
So instead of seeing everything as a potential issue, make sure that you’re also coming up with inspiring, fun ideas that you can enjoy together. After all, trips, dinners, and family outings are fun for people of all ages.
