How to Rediscover Your Identity After You Become a Mom?

«You have become different!» – such words are often heard by a woman during and after pregnancy. And this is the purest truth. Scientists have proved that pregnant women have temporary cognitive impairment:

  • memory deficits;
  • problems with executive functions;
  • the ability to plan actions and respond to external stimuli.

In addition, the sense of empathy is reduced, and some essential social processes are slowed down. So overcoming motherhood isn’t easy on many levels.


How to Rediscover Your Identity After You Become a Mom 1

What Does It Mean To “Lose One’s Identity”?

After the birth of a child, mothers often lose the sense of who they were before. Connections, acquaintances, culture, environment, and employment all contribute to your sense of self.

Many of the defining characteristics of your personality might be drastically altered by the birth of a child. You may check out Identity essays to get the issue better and find free writing samples.

It is typical for parents to feel exhausted, anxious, or depressed.

Seeking professional treatment is critical if you’re having difficulty making sense of your thoughts and emotions or finding it difficult to get through each day.

Read on to find helpful tips on how to overcome psychological issues and rediscover your identity after you become a mom.


Build Your Self-Esteem

It must be understood that a young mother has little time to look after her appearance. The mother is worried about what she looks like after childbirth, and the reaction of other people can even cause a severe psychological shock to her self-esteem.

The same goes for self-development. Mothers often miss their favorite courses and classes. They simply can’t find time to enjoy a book.

Tip. Love yourself again! It is necessary to afford pleasant little things, do sports, allow time for visiting a beauty salon, and learn to spend money not only on the family but also on yourself.

Do not compare yourself to others. Exclude inappropriate critics from your circle. Be friends with those who encourage you, not belittle you.

Go to a photo shoot with a good photographer who will be able to emphasize your merits. Identify your Kibbe type or compare your face to the celebrities in the intended applications. This will help you look at yourself from the outside and realize your beauty.


Find Your Balance

You recall the days… You went to college and enjoyed your favorite lectures. You watched what you wanted to see. You ate when you wanted and at the temperature you preferred.

You slept when you were weary and remained up when you weren’t. You were in charge of your own life. Things have changed.

Tip. You should find a way to equally care about your children and yourself. Don’t be disappointed if you won’t succeed at once. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood takes time.

After all, you’re still in charge of your destiny. Allow yourself to make decisions based on your feelings sometimes. And don’t prioritize your children’s needs before your own.


Keep The Harmony

A young mother may think that her husband’s lifestyle has changed little. At the same time, a young father may feel excluded because the focus is now on the child, not him.

Tip. Communicate as much as possible, discuss everything honestly, and share responsibilities. Find time for fun, but this time joint. Plan a dinner at the restaurant, a little trip, etc.


Stay Sociable

Very often, most young mothers’ thoughts are directed to the baby; soon, there is a feeling of dependence on him. On top of that, the social circle narrows down to talking to children’s toys.

Tip. Do not be afraid to seek help and support from family and friends. If you can’t trust anyone, talk to a professional psychologist.

Losing identity in motherhood can lead to depression. You have to take care of yourself and treat your feelings seriously.

Deal With Envy

The Instagram beauties who are constantly smiling might make mothers wish they were as successful as these bloggers seem to be. Tired mothers look in the mirror and see a shadow of their former selves.

Motherhood’s constant demands provide little time for cultivating one’s sense of self, making losing yourself in motherhood too easy.

Mothers in our society are taught that everything they do for themselves deprives our children of something valuable.

There is a strong, unspoken belief that if we do something that sparks us, it automatically affects them. This claim isn’t valid!

Tip. Remember the rule: «Happy mother – happy baby»! In any case, do not forget about yourself, and never deny yourself your own needs.

Analyze your background and understand that you are doing fine. Each person has their conditions from the start, so to the finish, all come differently.

Compare yourself only to yourself in the past. Live in your own flow. Do your favorite thing – one that evokes positive emotions. Praise yourself even for small achievements, and do not forget to go to the big goal.

Julie Higgins
Julie is a Staff Writer at She has been working in publishing houses before joining the editorial team at momooze. Julie's love and passion are topics around beauty, lifestyle, hair and nails.