Many women believe it’s normal for their sexual desire, and their sex life overall, to decline when they have kids, but like other problems that can sometimes develop when you become a busy working parent, such as lack of sleep or lack of time to exercise, problems in the bedroom can often be addressed by making a few lifestyle changes.
If you and your partner are experiencing problems getting in the mood, here are some tips that can help busy parents begin the process of getting their sexual relationships back on track.
Pay a Visit to the Doctor
Although chasing after toddlers can impact anyone’s sex life, it’s important to note that disorders such as type II diabetes, heart disease, stress, and depression and anxiety can also have an effect on sexual health. Some types of medication, including some drugs commonly used to control high blood pressure, have also been shown to have a negative effect on the sexual health of both women and men. Fluctuating or low hormone levels can also be a factor.
If your sex life has suddenly become less than satisfying, one of the first things you should do is get a check up. Be sure to tell your doctor about the specific problems you are having so that he or she will better be able to rule out certain health problems. A simple blood test can reveal problems with your hormones as well as issues such as type II diabetes and high cholesterol.
You should also discuss any medication you are taking with your doctor. If you are currently taking medications known to contribute to sexual dysfunction, talk to your doctor about possible alternatives or perhaps decreasing your dosage on a trial basis.
Take a Look at Your Diet
Although it can be hard to find time to shop and cook as a new parent, it’s important to remember that good nutrition is the foundation of a healthy life and sex life.
Rather than radically changing your diet all at once, start by adding more fruits and vegetables to meals you are already cooking. Healthy family meals will also benefit your kids. To keep things interesting, look for healthy recipes to try in your local newspaper or online.
Visiting local farmers markets that offer activities for kids can make shopping for fresh produce fun for everyone, while also allowing you access to the most high quality fruits and vegetables.
Work Exercise Into Your Schedule
Many parents mistakenly believe that getting more exercise means they need to take up running or spend hours at the gym. But this isn’t the case. Believe it or not, you can derive huge benefits from small amounts of exercise, even if it’s just 10 minutes here and there while the kids are napping or playing.
Getting outdoors is great for parents’ mental and physical health, and well as that of their kids. Put the kids in a stroller and go for a walk around the neighborhood or a local park three or four days a week, increasing the distance you walk each day. After a few weeks, you will notice a big difference in your energy level.
“If you find yourself exercising often and struggling to see results, you might consider cosmetic or plastic surgery,” says Dr. Kelly, a top-rated plastic surgeon in Utah. “Studies have shown that self-confidence is directly linked to physical appearance, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you want to explore getting work done.”
Reduce Stress and Find Time For Yourself
Too much stress can have negative effect on parents’ sex life and health. To improve your intimate relationship, it is important to reduce the amount of stress in your everyday life. Try to avoid situations and people you find stressful whenever possible. Shop and do errands at times when traffic jams are less likely. Adding meditation or yoga to your daily routine has also been shown to reduce stress in many people. Doing activities you enjoy such as reading, working on hobbies, doing craft projects with your kids, or listening to music has also been shown to reduce stress levels.
Talk to Your Partner
Many times, problems new parents experience in the bedroom stem from issues in their relationship, fears related to intimacy or body image, or just plain exhaustion. Couples who have been together for many years may sometimes feel a lack of sexual desire due to boredom. It’s important to talk to your partner about your feelings, either alone or with a therapist. To make things more interesting, you can try ordering sex toys online. Many couples find that simply talking to each other about their sexual fantasies and desires can make a big difference.
Getting a grandparent or babysitter to watch the kids and spending the night in a hotel every few months can also be a relationship saver, getting your out of “parent mode” and reminding you and your partner why you got together in the first place.