A Single Mom’s Guide To Avoiding Dating Disasters

Are you a single mom on the lookout for love? If so, you may be trying to make sense of the dating game.

These days, there’s a tendency to date on a frequent basis, but even if you’re used to dating, meeting somebody for the first time can be daunting.

If you’re searching for a soulmate, here are some tips to help you avert dating disasters and maximize your chances of falling in love.

Put yourself out there

Be honest. How often do you find yourself in a scenario where you could potentially run into the love of your life?

Being a single mom doesn’t always lend itself to dating, as most moms are preoccupied with caring for their children. If you don’t have a huge amount of free time, it can be difficult to meet new people.

Often, people end up single because they don’t actually have many chances to get out there and stumble across Mr or Mrs Right. If you devote all your time to work or looking after your kids, now is the time to try and put yourself out there. You don’t need to join every dating site, download every app and beg every friend to set you up on a blind date, but being more proactive in your search for a partner may bring rewards.

Ask colleagues and friends if they have any suitable single mates, and take a look at some sites and apps. Tailor your search to suit what you’re looking for. If you’re after a long-term relationship, it may be best to avoid some of the more popular dating apps.

It’s also a good idea to try and expand your social circle and think about how you use your leisure time if you tend to visit the same places with the same people.

Take up a new hobby or try new haunts. If you cast your net a little wider, you may come across all those fish in the sea people ramble on about.

Be confident

Do you get nervous before dates? Do you find that you clam up or you lose the ability to converse freely? It’s very common to be anxious when you meet somebody, especially for the first time. If you’re not used to dating, or it has been a while since you went on a first date, try and stay calm, and be confident. Rationalize the situation.

All you’re doing is having a meal or a drink with somebody. Breathe, and be positive. This could be the start of something brilliant. If not, you don’t have to see that person again. If you find that you struggle to keep the conversation flowing, it’s a great idea to think of conversation starters and good questions to ask someone you’ve never met before.

Don’t panic if things don’t quite go to plan. Take the date for what it was. Even if that person didn’t set your world alight, at least you had the confidence to go on the date. You may find that the more dates you organize, the more comfortable you’ll become.

Think about what you want

Thousands of people go on dates every day. Some are looking for true love, others are looking to have fun, and many are probably somewhere in between. If you’re dating, think about what you want.

If you’re on a mission to find a life partner who will play an important role in your life and maybe even the life of your child too, you don’t want to waste time on people who don’t want that too.

You don’t want to fall head over heels for someone who doesn’t want a serious relationship. Be clear about your goals from the outset.

Don’t put pressure on yourself

When you’re inundated with pictures of happy couples on social media, or it seems like everyone is suddenly getting engaged or tying the knot in your friendship group, it can be very easy to put pressure on yourself.

The reality is that it’s not always easy to find a person you click with and you have a deep connection with, and you shouldn’t force something that isn’t right just because society demands that you get married and buy a house before you’re 30 years old. Life doesn’t work like that, and the sooner you realize that, the better. It’s better to wait for the perfect match than to settle for a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you.

Everyone is different, and we should all have the confidence to move at our own pace. Many people desperately want that lightning bolt, and they put so much pressure on dating that it becomes a chore.

If you let go of ideals, and just enjoy the process, you’ll probably find that your chances of meeting the right person increase dramatically.

Take your time

Sometimes, people fall in love very quickly, and there’s an instant attraction, which develops into a deeper appreciation. If you’re dating somebody, and it’s going well, try not to get too carried away.

Take your time, get to know each other, and spend time together. There’s no rush to move in together, introduce your date to family or set a wedding date. Enjoy going on dates, and finding out new things about each other, and make sure that you’re compatible before you take that next step.

If you’re considering getting back into the dating game, or you’re a serial dater, and you’re hoping for a change in fortunes, hopefully, you’ll find this guide useful. Meeting people as a single mom can be difficult, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, so they say.

Get yourself out there, try and meet new people, and be confident.

Don’t get bogged down by rejections or rubbish first dates, and have a positive mindset. Try not to get stressed out if other people around you seem to be moving on. Take your time to find the right person, to get to know people, and to make sure you’re making the right decisions. Good luck!

Julie Higgins
Julie is a Staff Writer at momooze.com. She has been working in publishing houses before joining the editorial team at momooze. Julie's love and passion are topics around beauty, lifestyle, hair and nails.

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